Ellen White would not have started to keep a diary on the first day of January, 1859, if she was not planning to publish an account of her experience. She had started on the manuscript early in 1858. A back page note in the Review and Herald in late March, in very small type, provides a clue:
I now design publishing a book of two or three hundred pages, containing a sketch of my Christian experience up to this time, my views, and a Bible argument on the perpetuity of spiritual gifts. My friends who have received letters from me containing views, exhortations, or a statement of events of my experience worthy of publication in such a work are invited to return them to me immediately by mail to Battle Creek, Michigan.--The Review and Herald, March 25, 1858.
When the little book My Christian Experience, Views, and Labors came out two years later, she mentioned that in its preparation she had to depend in many instances on her memory, for she had not kept a "journal," but the letters she had written that were returned to her at her request were a great help. As she endeavored to reconstruct her life story she sensed the importance of a day-by-day record of her experience and activities. She purchased a little black, leather-bound diary, lightly lined and three by five inches in size, for this purpose. This diary is rich in the information it contains about her life and work.
As 1859 dawned, Ellen had just turned 31; James was 37; Henry, 11; Edson, 9; and Willie, 4. They were living in a modest one-and-two-thirds-story cottage on Wood Street, facing Champion Street, in the west end of Battle Creek. Recently two major additions had been made to the house, one on the south side, the other on the north side. Ellen's father and mother were living with them. James's parents had been persuaded to leave Maine; they lived just across Wood Street in a little cottage where Grandfather White cobbled shoes. Also living with the Whites were Jennie Fraser and Adelia Patten, two young women brought into the family to carry the burdens of housework and to take charge of the children when James and Ellen White were visiting churches and holding conferences. The two older boys attended the Battle Creek public school. The publishing house on Main Street was six short blocks toward the city to the east. Across from the Review office and to the north was McCamly Park. The newly erected house of worship was just west of the park facing Washington Street and the park.
As attested by many of the entries in the little 1859 diary and by frequent obituaries in the Review, these were times of great ignorance in health matters and in combating disease. Tuberculosis, bilious fever (appendicitis), typhoid fever, smallpox, and malaria were often listed as diseases that took the lives of many--particularly children, teenagers, and those in their 20s.
The January Trip to Wright, Michigan
James and Ellen White intended to spend most weekends away from Battle Creek visiting and strengthening Michigan churches. The 1859 diary indicates their success in doing so. In its final December issue, the Review and Herald carried this word under the heading "Appointments":
Providence permitting, there will be a conference at Wright, Ottawa County, Michigan, commencing January 21 at 1:00 P.M. and hold over Sabbath and First-day. Brother and Sister White and Brother Loughborough may be expected.--Ibid., December 30, 1858
Plans called for leaving Battle Creek the first week in January in order to get in some stops as they traveled by carriage and sleigh, north and west.
The year opened on Sabbath, the little diary page is filled with a neatly written pen-and-ink account of the happenings that day in Battle Creek:
Sabbath, January 1, 1859:
It is the commencement of the new year. The Lord gave James liberty Sabbath afternoon in preaching upon the necessary preparation for baptism, and to partake of the Lord's Supper. There was much feeling in the congregation. At intermission all repaired to the water [the nearby Kalamazoo River, two blocks from the church], where seven followed their Lord in baptism. It was a powerful season and of the deepest interest. Two little sisters about 11 years old were baptized. One, Cornelia C., prayed in the water to be kept unspotted from the world.
In the eve the church followed the example of their Lord and washed one another's feet, and then partook of the Lord's Supper. There was rejoicing and weeping in that house. The place was awful, and yet glorious, on account of the presence of the Lord.--Manuscript 5, 1859. [All E. G. White diaries have been copied and introduced into the regular manuscript file of the White Estate. The 1859 diary as copied appears in four numbered documents, each covering one quarter of the year.--Author.]
Ellen White spent Sunday morning getting clothing ready for the anticipated three-week-long journey. John Loughborough and his wife and their 10-month-old daughter would be with them. Monday, Ellen was at the publishing house, where she had set aside a quiet corner in the library in which to write. She usually spent part of the morning and part of the afternoon writing. Her letter Tuesday, January 4, signals the picking up of the work on her book of experiences:
Went to the office. Wrote a number of letters to different ones who were acquainted with our experience. Wished them to call up the events and write them to us. Wrote to Brother Hastings, of New Ipswich, New Hampshire, Brother Collins, of Dartmouth, Massachusetts, Noah Lunt, of Portland, Maine, and Brother Nichols, of Dorchester, Massachusetts. Wrote a vision given me for Brother Bates.--Ibid.
Friday, January 7, was a bitterly cold day, but the travelers had to be on their way if they were to spend Sabbath at Otsego. James White was not with them. Work held him in Battle Creek. He thought to leave later and catch up with them--hopefully by the next weekend--but John Andrews was in Battle Creek for the Bible study on the matter of proper support for the ministry, and it turned out that James did not get away at all. She wrote on Friday, January 14, at Allegan, of her disappointment:
Expected James. A letter came that he is not coming because Brother Andrews was expected. The church are all disappointed.--Ibid.
The next week Ellen White and the Loughboroughs pressed on with their journey, traveling over "log ways" and "plank roads" en route to Grand Rapids. Marshy land had to be traversed. Timber was plentiful and roads in some areas were "paved" with planks--and in some cases with tree trunks laid side by side at right angles to the road and covered, not always too well, with earth. Ten miles of this was described by Ellen White as "very bad and rough."
Wednesday night they were at the Cramer home, but Ellen White noted that she slept but little, for Mrs. Cramer gave birth to a daughter during the night, and hastened to say, "Mother and child are comfortable." It took all day Thursday to drive to Wright. The new father went with them as a guide. The roads were good, but food was short, and the diary for January 19 records:
Have no milk for Teresa [the Loughboroughs' 10-month-old child.] She cries. Oh, that we may be as earnest for the bread of life as she is for temporal food! She will not be satisfied. May our earnest cries go up to God for His salvation.--Ibid.
They were well entertained by the Root family--"an excellent family," noted Ellen White. Frisbie and Rhodes were there for the conference, but James White, to Ellen's sorrow, was not. "Am very sorry," she wrote on January 20. "Our labors should be together." The next day she added:
I have felt so homesick on the journey. I fear that I have not been willing to sacrifice the company of my husband and children to do others good. I desire a willingness to make a whole sacrifice and crucify every selfish feeling. I feel a lack of the Spirit of God. Have had a weeping time before the Lord.--Ibid.
Monday they returned to Grand Rapids, two days' travel away from home. The record of Tuesday's travels reads:
Tuesday, January 25, 1859:
It looks like a storm. I feel rather cast down. My teeth troubled me through the night. We rode fourteen miles from [Grand Rapids] to Brother Hardy's. Brother Cramer did not give us the right directions, and we went four miles out of our way. Did not arrive at Brother Hardy's until dinnertime. It was snowing fast. We were heartily welcomed by the family. A good dinner was soon in readiness for us of which we thankfully partook.
This is a colored family, but although the house is poor and old, everything is arranged in neatness and exact order. The children are well behaved, intelligent, and interesting. May I yet have a better acquaintance with this dear family.
Wednesday they reached home, and the diary entry closed with these words of gratitude:
Joyfully, we again met our family. Little Willie seems overjoyed to meet us again. Poor child, he has been very sick in my absence. Is now better, but looks miserable. My husband has been sick, but the Lord has preserved their lives. With gratitude to God I take my place in my family again. There is no place to be so dearly prized as home.
The entry for the next day, Thursday, January 27, reads:
Rested but little the past night. Was so thankful and happy to meet my family again and to be in the society of my husband and children I could not sleep.
On Friday there was a family get-together at the noonday meal: Had the privilege of sitting at the table with my husband's father and mother and my father and mother. We enjoyed the interview much.
The next week, Friday, on February 4, Ellen went downtown with Augusta Bognes and Joseph Bates and purchased a coat for Bates. Sunday, February 6, she was at work on the story of her life; visiting her mother, she got some facts concerning her experience. The following Wednesday she was writing to her twin sister, Elizabeth, to her sister Mary, and to the Folsoms, of Somerville, Massachusetts. She was reaching out for information that would aid her with the biographical account.
Sunday, March 6, was an interesting day, with a visit with Martha Byington, who now lived nearby. Ellen also began making a dress. She cut it out and started to sew, then, running into perplexities, "took it all to pieces and made it over." In the afternoon Loughborough came for an interview, and in the evening there was a meeting at the church. Of this she wrote:
After it was time to close, the subject of voting was considered and dwelt upon. James first talked, then Brother Andrews talked, and it was thought by them best to give their influence in favor of right and against wrong. They think it right to vote in favor of temperance men being in office in our city, instead of--by their silence--running the risk of having men of nontemperance put in office.--Ibid.
An interesting discussion followed. On Tuesday, March 8, J. N. Andrews, who for a few days had been in Battle Creek and spoke in the church both Sabbath morning and afternoon, was leaving for home. Ellen White noted concerning his parting visit:
I got together a few things for him to take home. Send Angeline a new calico dress, nine shillings, and a stout pair of calfskin shoes. Father gives the making of the shoes and the making of a pair of boots for Brother John Andrews.
I send the little boy a nice little flannel shirt and yarn to knit him a pair of stockings. I send Sister or Mother Andrews a nice large cape, well wadded, for her to wear. I made a bag to put them in, of towel cloth.
Wrote three small pages to Sister Mary Chase [James's sister]. In it wrote a recipe obtained from John.
Sabbaths were important days in the White home, especially when the parents were in Battle Creek. The diary entry covering the activities of Sabbath, March 19, is typical:
Attended meeting in the forenoon. Brother Loughborough preached with great liberty upon the sleep of the dead and the inheritance of the saints. Tarried at home in the afternoon. Read to the children, wrote a letter to Brother Newton and wife, encouraging them in spiritual things. In the evening attended meeting for Communion and washing feet.
A break came in the weather in Battle Creek in late March. Her diary for Thursday, March 24, reads:
Arose early. Assisted my husband and Brother Richard [Godsmark] in taking up a currant bush to plant in our garden.... It is a cold, blustering day. Brother Richard and wife will suffer [on their return trip home] unless they are warmly clothed. I lend them cloak, mittens, and necktie [scarf] to protect them. The weather is very changeable, but in the new earth there are no chilling winds, no disagreeable changes. The atmosphere is ever right and healthy.
With the arrival of spring she found it hard to keep her mind off the garden. Wednesday, March 30, the weather was warmer again, and she was in the garden for a time. She noted in her diary:
Set out the raspberry bush. Went to Manchesters' for strawberry plants. Got some currant bushes.... Sent off three letters.
This was followed the next day by the planting of "a patch of strawberries," and then she turned to her writing. But she was back in the garden two weeks later. On Monday, April 11, she wrote:
Spent most of the day making a garden for my children. Feel willing to make home as pleasant for them as I can, that home may be the pleasantest place of any to them.--Manuscript 6, 1859.
The Battle Creek Home
Judging by Willie's memory of his boyhood home, she succeeded in this. He later wrote about the six-room cottage:
It was one and two thirds stories high, and faced east on Wood Street.... The front room on the first floor was both parlor and sitting room. Back of this was a small bedroom to the north, and to the south a kitchen, which was used also as a dining room.
Upstairs the front room was broad and roomy, about eight feet high in the center and sloping to four feet at the north and south sides. There were two windows on the east. Back of this large front room were two bedrooms and the stairway.
The moving in was quickly accomplished, and almost immediately a twelve-foot lean-to was built on the south side. This was known through the years as the boys' room. Later a similar lean-to was built on the north side. This room served many purposes. For a short time it was the residence of my mother's parents, Robert and Eunice Harmon; later on, after they had moved to a cottage of their own, it was occupied by my father's parents, John and Betsy White. James and Ellen White greatly enjoyed having their parents near them.--WCW, "Sketches and Memories of James and Ellen White," Ibid., February 13, 1936
W. C. White spoke of a well dug on the property line so that several families might be served. Its clear, cool water left a lasting impression on his mind. He recalled:
The Home Program
With but little variation, the daily program of the White family was something like this:
At six o'clock all were up. Often Mother had been writing for two or three hours, and the cook had been busy in the kitchen since five o'clock. By six-thirty breakfast was ready. Mother would frequently mention at the breakfast table that she had written six, eight, or more pages, and sometimes she would relate to the family some interesting portions of what she had written.
Father would sometimes tell us of the work in which he was engaged, or relate interesting incidents regarding the progress of the cause, east and west.
At seven o'clock all assembled in the parlor for morning worship. Father would read an appropriate scripture, with comments, and then lead in the morning song of praise or supplication, in which all joined. The hymn most frequently used was:
Lord, in the morning, Thou shalt hear
My voice ascending high;
To Thee will I direct my prayer,
To Thee lift up mine eye.--Church Hymnal, No. 39.
This or some other song of a somewhat similar character was sung with hearty vigor, and then Father prayed. He did not "offer a prayer": he prayed with earnestness and with solemn reverence. He pleaded for those blessings most needed by himself and his family, and for the prosperity of the cause of God. Anyone present not accustomed to such seasons of prayer would be deeply impressed with the seriousness and solemnity of the occasion....
When Father was away from home, Mother conducted the family worship. If both were gone, the one in charge of the home led out. The worship hour was as regularly observed as the hours for breakfast and dinner.--Ibid.
W. C. White continued in his memory account:
After Father had left the house, Mother enjoyed spending half an hour in her flower garden during those portions of the year when flowers could be cultivated. In this her children were encouraged to work with her. Then she would devote three or four hours to her writing. Her afternoons were usually occupied with a variety of activities, sewing, mending, knitting, darning, and working in her flower garden, with occasional shopping trips to town or visits to the sick.
If there was no evening meeting, between seven and eight o'clock or later, the whole family would assemble again for worship. If the day's work permitted us to be called to prayers early, we listened to Mother as she read some interesting and instructive article from religious papers or books. Then Father, if present, read a chapter from the Bible and prayed, thanking God for the blessings of the day, and committing the family to God's care for the night.--Ibid.
In fulfilling their rather general pastoral duties, James and Ellen White were at the newly established church at Wright, Michigan, for meetings Sabbath, April 30, and Sunday, May 1; they stayed over until Monday, May 2. Ellen White's diary entry for that day shows them in an interesting role:
We met together again to break bread and wash the saints' feet. It had never been practiced by them, but husband set the example to the men and I to the sisters, then all heartily engaged in it. It was an interesting occasion. The solemnity of the place made it still more profitable. There was weeping and rejoicing, humbling before God altogether. It was a season long to be remembered. Husband never talked more ... appropriately than when breaking the bread, and sobs and groans were heard from the congregation.--Manuscript 6, 1859.
In his Review report James White stated that nearly one hundred believers assembled that Monday morning, and that nearly all took part. He commented, "It was a blessed sight to see this large body of young Christian Sabbathkeepers heartily engage in the ordinances of the Lord's house."--Ibid., May 12, 1859
Writing Personal Testimonies
Ellen White dreaded writing and sending messages to various individuals regarding what had been revealed to her concerning waywardness, sins, and mistakes. Souls were at stake, and the work of reproving sin was a delicate task. It is not easy for people to receive and accept reproof. The first letter written in 1859, on New Year's Day, was a testimony. It pointed out the importance of approaching God with reverence. Two days later she addressed a family in Battle Creek concerning their lack of solemnity and watchfulness.
Some letters were easier to write, as was one addressed to Stephen Pierce in Vermont sometime before, answering a number of questions he had asked. Here are some of the questions and her answers:
You inquire what the faith of Jesus is. I have seen that the brethren and sisters have not understood the faith of Jesus in its true light. They have taught that it is healing the sick, et cetera. It is not healing the sick, merely, but it is all the teachings of Jesus in the New Testament. "The commandments of God, and the faith of Jesus." I saw that it was the whole New Testament which relates to Jesus....
You inquire if we should pray for none that are sick except those in the third angel's message, or pray for all that shall make application, et cetera. James 5 is our rule to follow. "Is any sick among you? let him call," et cetera. It is those that are among us. God had shown me those who keep God's commandments are to have nothing to do [in anointing and special prayer] for the sick of those who are daily trampling them underfoot, unless it is in some special case where souls are convicted of the truth and are decided to move out upon it. The partition wall between commandment keepers and those who trample them underfoot should be kept.
Your next question: The elders referred to in James are not merely those who have been ordained, but aged persons, those also who have experience and judgment in the things of God--those whose lives are circumspect.--Letter 4, 1857.
In general, the writing of personal testimonies, which called for great care in the use of words, drew heavily on Ellen White's strength and in 1859 depressed her painfully. One matter that concerned her was the Laodicean message and the fact that it had not produced more lasting fruitage. On Sabbath, May 14, she listened to a sermon by Loughborough on the subject. She wrote in her diary:
It enlightened my mind some concerning the message to the Laodiceans. Light seemed to break into my mind that since the message to the Laodiceans has gone forth the delay that we are now in is to develop character, to bring out what is in the heart, and separate the precious from the vile.--Manuscript 6, 1859.
Two weeks later she wrote further of the point in her diary:
Attended meeting all day. Felt pressed in spirit to bear a straight testimony upon pride, love of fashion. God is separating His people from the world. He is purifying them unto Himself, and those who will not heed reproof, who choose to possess their own way, to manifest the evil passions of the heart, will be left behind. God will have a pure and a holy, self-denying, cross-bearing people.
The message to the Laodiceans looks clearer to me. I see God will not do His work of spewing out until character is developed, His professed people proved, tested, and tried. Now God is proving His people to see if they will obey Him.--Ibid.
The Battle Creek General Conference
In several notices in the Review James White sent forth to believers "east, west, north, and south," a general invitation to attend a general conference at Battle Creek, Friday, June 3, to Monday, June 6. He was especially eager for a good attendance, for it was his plan to promote Systematic Benevolence. The people were told to make provision for their own entertainment. "It will be impossible," he wrote, "to supply all with beds, or all their horses with stable room. Our sleeping rooms will be given up to females to be made as comfortable as possible, in camp meeting style. The brethren will have the next-best chance in our barns, in the tent, or on unoccupied floors in our houses. Blankets and buffalo robes will be in good demand. Those who will need them must bring them."--The Review and Herald, April 21, 1859.
There was a good response. Reporting the conference, Uriah Smith declared:
And those who came showed their interest in the matter not only by the pains they took to come, but also by the liberal provision they made for taking care of themselves and others during their sojourn with us.--Ibid., June 9, 1859
Of the quality of the meeting and its spiritual impact, he wrote:
We can tell you of a conference such as makes the hearts of God's people glad, brightens their hope, revives their courage, and renews their strength. We can tell you of a conference without one unpleasant feature from beginning to end; of a meeting where there was a steady and rapidly increasing interest from its very commencement to its very close.--Ibid.
Because he was eager to have the largest possible representation present for the consideration of the plans for the financial support of the growing church, James White called for a business session to convene immediately after the Sabbath. Joseph Bates chaired the meeting. The address from the Battle Creek church prepared in January setting forth the broad plans for Systematic Benevolence was read and freely discussed. Waggoner declared he had seen the plan in operation and "it worked well. "Andrews said he heartily approved of the plan. Steward compared it to taxes that people pay, even when they are increased. Cornell declared that "nothing could be brought against the position taken." Byington remarked that God is a God of order and he thought it to be a good plan. Rhodes had only one objection, and that was that "the individual amount called for by the system was too small."
The record of the meeting stated:
Moved by Brother Loughborough that the address be adopted by the conference. Unanimously carried.--Ibid.
This marked another step toward organization by the emerging church.
The June Vision
But Ellen White was ill and discouraged. She wrote in her little diary on Friday, June 3:
A number came from Monterey and stopped with us. Am sorry that I cannot enjoy their company. I have no health and my mind is completely depressed.--Manuscript 6, 1859.
For Sabbath, June 4, she recorded:
Was very sick and much discouraged. Unable to attend meeting. All report that it was the best meeting they ever attended.--Ibid.
She did go to the meeting in the tent on Sunday, but was too feeble to enjoy it. Then a change came, apparently at about midnight (she does not name the day). She soon wrote of the experience in introducing the pamphlet Testimony No. 5.
She mentioned that her disease of the heart had a tendency "to depress" her spirits and "destroy" her "faith and courage." Often as she retired at night she realized that her life could be cut short at any moment. She reported that it was in this state that she fainted at midnight, presumably Sunday, June 4:
Brethren Andrews and Loughborough were sent for, and earnest petitions were offered to God in my behalf. The depression, the heavy weight, was lifted from my aching heart, and I was taken off in vision, and shown the things which I now present before you.--Testimonies for the Church, 1:185.
First she was instructed in regard to her personal experience. At times she had thought that her work was done and it would be sweet relief to rest in the grave (Manuscript 6, 1859). She was in almost constant pain and depressed. "I saw," she wrote, "that Satan had been trying to drive me to discouragement and despair, to make me desire death rather than life."--Ibid., 1:185.
I was shown that it was not God's will that I should now cease from the work and lie down in the grave; for then the enemies of our faith would triumph, and the hearts of God's children would be made sad. I saw that I should often feel anguish of spirit, and should suffer much; yet I had the promise that those around me would encourage and help me, that my courage and strength might not fail while I was so fiercely buffeted by the devil.--Ibid., 1:185, 186.
She was shown that the Laodicean message applied "at the present time." She added:
I saw that this message would not accomplish its work in a few short months. It is designed to arouse the people of God, to discover to them their backslidings, and to lead to zealous repentance, that they may be favored with the presence of Jesus, and be fitted for the loud cry of the third angel.--Ibid., 1:186.
She was given instruction on how God leads His people step by step in the development of character. Then the vision turned to the topic the conference had been considering that very evening. Of this she wrote:
The plan of systematic benevolence is pleasing to God. I was pointed back to the days of the apostles, and saw that God laid the plan by the descent of His Holy Spirit, and that by the gift of prophecy He counseled His people in regard to a system of benevolence. All were to share in this work of imparting of their carnal things to those who ministered unto them in spiritual things. They were also taught that the widows and fatherless had a claim upon their charity.... God is leading His people in the plan of systematic benevolence.--Ibid., 1:190, 191.
The vision went on to give instruction in several practical lines.
Testimony for the Church No. 5
Mid-June found Ellen White well along in getting the counsels based on the vision of June 4 into print in Testimony No. 5. She wrote of it:
The Lord visited me again in great mercy. I am preparing a tract which will probably be ready as soon as orders can reach me. The subjects of the tract are: Testimony to the Laodiceans--Systematic Benevolence--The Talents, Matthew 25--The Unjust Steward, Luke 16--Copartnership With Unbelievers, and Slack Management of Worldly Matters--Idle Words--Oath-taking--Meetinghouse Buildings, et cetera.
I want all the friends of the cause to have it, pay, or no pay. Those who choose may send 10 cents a copy; others may send more or nothing, as they choose. Let the poor who have no money be sure to send. Address Ellen G. White, Battle Creek, Michigan.--The Review and Herald, June 16, 1859.
The records indicate that this vision marked a turning of the tide in Ellen White's health. She wrote in her diary for Monday, June 6:
Attended meeting in the morning. It was a meeting of deep interest. I had opportunity to bear my testimony. It was the best meeting of all, and when the people left, all united in saying it was the best conference they ever attended.
This entry closes with the notation "At dinner we had thirty-five." The next day there is just one short line: "We are all much worn out."
The entries in her diary for the next two months picture Ellen White a busy wife and mother in the home, attentive of her children, busy sewing for them and others, a compassionate neighbor, at times going shopping with some of the women in the church. It included, of course, accounts of her attending weekend meetings with her husband and ever drawn to her writing.
The Autumn Trip East
On Wednesday, August 17, she left by train with her husband for a three-month tour through the Eastern States. Her diary carries day-by-day accounts of conferences and meetings held, of old friends met, of comforting the bereaved, of preaching to large audiences, and, where presented, of the adoption of Systematic Benevolence. They were back home Monday, November 21. Ellen White's diary entry written Sunday, November 20, at Monterey, Michigan, was her last for 1859. She was home again, and there was no time for the diary. James White summarized the eastern trip this way:
The first ten weeks of our journey, till Brother Loughborough joined us, we traveled two-thousand miles, preached fifty times, and transacted business, from the sale of a penny tract up to a much larger sum, to the amount of $1,000. We returned with better health and courage to labor in the cause of truth than we had had for the past ten years.--Ibid., December 8, 1859
The E. G. White diaries and diary journals yield valuable biographical, family, and denominational information. And the letters that were called back to aid Ellen White in telling her life story have provided an important part of the file of the early Ellen G. White communications.