One
of the first lessons a child needs to learn is the lesson of obedience. Before
he is old enough to reason, he may be taught to obey. By gentle, persistent
effort, the habit should be established. Thus, to a great degree, may be
prevented those later conflicts between will and authority that do so much to
create alienation and bitterness toward parents and teachers, and too often
resistance of all authority, human and divine.
The object of
discipline is the training of the child for self-government. He should be
taught self-reliance and self-control. Therefore as soon as he is capable of
understanding, his reason should be enlisted on the side of obedience. Let all
dealing with him be such as to show obedience to be just and reasonable. Help
him to see that all things are under law, and that disobedience leads, in the
end, to disaster and suffering. When God says "Thou shalt not," He in love
warns us of the consequences of disobedience, in order to save us from harm and
loss.
Help the child to
see that parents and teachers are representatives of God, and that, as they act
in harmony with Him, their laws in the home and the school are also His. As the
child is to render obedience to parents and
288
teachers, so they,
in turn, are to render obedience to God.
To direct the
child's development without hindering it by undue control should be the study
of both parent and teacher. Too much management is as bad as too little. The
effort to "break the will" of a child is a terrible mistake. Minds are
constituted differently; while force may secure outward submission, the result
with many children is a more determined rebellion of the heart. Even should the
parent or teacher succeed in gaining the control he seeks, the outcome may be
no less harmful to the child. The discipline of a human being who has reached
the years of intelligence should differ from the training of a dumb animal. The
beast is taught only submission to its master. For the beast, the master is
mind, judgment, and will. This method, sometimes employed in the training of
children, makes them little more than automatons. Mind, will, conscience, are
under the control of another. It is not God's purpose that any mind should be
thus dominated. Those who weaken or destroy individuality assume a
responsibility that can result only in evil. While under authority, the
children may appear like well-drilled soldiers; but when the control ceases,
the character will be found to lack strength and steadfastness. Having never
learned to govern himself, the youth recognizes no restraint except the
requirement of parents or teacher. This removed, he knows not how to use his
liberty, and often gives himself up to indulgence that proves his ruin.
Since the surrender
of the will is so much more difficult for some pupils than for others, the
teacher should make obedience to his requirements as easy as possible.
289
The will should be
guided and molded, but not ignored or crushed. Save the strength of the will;
in the battle of life it will be needed.
Every child should
understand the true force of the will. He should be led to see how great is the
responsibility involved in this gift. The will is the governing power in the
nature of man, the power of decision, or choice. Every human being possessed of
reason has power to choose the right. In every experience of life, God's word
to us is, "Choose you this day whom ye will serve." Joshua 24:15. Everyone may
place his will on the side of the will of God, may choose to obey Him, and by
thus linking himself with divine agencies, he may stand where nothing can force
him to do evil. In every youth, every child, lies the power, by the help of
God, to form a character of integrity and to live a life of usefulness.
The parent or
teacher who by such instruction trains the child to self-control will be the
most useful and permanently successful. To the superficial observer his work
may not appear to the best advantage; it may not be valued so highly as that of
the one who holds the mind and will of the child under absolute authority; but
after years will show the result of the better method of training.
The wise educator,
in dealing with his pupils, will seek to encourage confidence and to strengthen
the sense of honor. Children and youth are benefited by being trusted. Many,
even of the little children, have a high sense of honor; all desire to be
treated with confidence and respect, and this is their right. They should not
be led to feel that they cannot go out or come in without being watched.
Suspicion demoralizes, producing the very evils it seeks
290
to prevent. Instead
of watching continually, as if suspecting evil, teachers who are in touch with
their pupils will discern the workings of the restless mind, and will set to
work influences that will counteract evil. Lead the youth to feel that they are
trusted, and there are few who will not seek to prove themselves worthy of the
trust.
On the same
principle it is better to request than to command; the one thus addressed has
opportunity to prove himself loyal to right principles. His obedience is the
result of choice rather than compulsion.
The rules governing
the schoolroom should, so far as possible, represent the voice of the school.
Every principle involved in them should be so placed before the student that he
may be convinced of its justice. Thus he will feel a responsibility to see that
the rules which he himself has helped to frame are obeyed.
Rules should be few
and well considered; and when once made, they should be enforced. Whatever it
is found impossible to change, the mind learns to recognize and adapt itself
to; but the possibility of indulgence induces desire, hope, and uncertainty,
and the results are restlessness, irritably, and insubordination.
It should be made
plain that the government of God knows no compromise with evil. Neither in the
home nor in the school should disobedience be tolerated. No parent or teacher
who has at heart the well-being of those under his care will compromise with
the stubborn self-will that defies authority or resorts to subterfuge or
evasion in order to escape obedience. It is not love but sentimentalism that
palters with wrongdoing, seeks by coaxing or bribes to secure compliance, and
finally accepts some substitute in place of the thing required.
291
"Fools make a mock
at sin." Proverbs 14:9. We should beware of treating sin as a light thing.
Terrible is its power over the wrongdoer. "His own iniquities shall take the
wicked himself, and he shall be holden with the cords of his sins." Proverbs
5:22. The greatest wrong done to a child or youth is to allow him to become
fastened in the bondage of evil habit.
The youth have an
inborn love of liberty; they desire freedom; and they need to understand that
these inestimable blessings are to be enjoyed only in obedience to the law of
God. This law is the preserver of true freedom and liberty. It points out and
prohibits those things that degrade and enslave, and thus to the obedient it
affords protection from the power of evil.
The psalmist says:
"I will walk at liberty: for I seek Thy precepts." "Thy testimonies also are my
delight and my counselors." Psalm 119:45, 24.
In our efforts to
correct evil, we should guard against a tendency to faultfinding or censure.
Continual censure bewilders, but does not reform. With many minds, and often
those of the finest susceptibility, an atmosphere of unsympathetic criticism is
fatal to effort. Flowers do not unfold under the breath of a blighting wind.
A child frequently
censured for some special fault, comes to regard that fault as his peculiarity,
something against which it is vain to strive. Thus are created discouragement
and hopelessness, often concealed under an appearance of indifference or
bravado.
The true object of
reproof is gained only when the wrongdoer himself is led to see his fault and
his will is enlisted for its correction. When this is accomplished, point him
to the source of pardon and power. Seek to
292
preserve his
self-respect and to inspire him with courage and hope.
This work is the
nicest, the most difficult, ever committed to human beings. It requires the
most delicate tact, the finest susceptibility, a knowledge of human nature, and
a heaven-born faith and patience, willing to work and watch and wait. It is a
work than which nothing can be more important.
Those who desire to
control others must first control themselves. To deal passionately with a child
or youth will only arouse his resentment. When a parent or teacher becomes
impatient and is in danger of speaking unwisely, let him remain silent. There
is wonderful power in silence.
The teacher must
expect to meet perverse dispositions and obdurate hearts. But in dealing with
them he should never forget that he himself was once a child, in need of
discipline. Even now, with all his advantages of ages, education, and
experience, he often errs, and is in need of mercy and forbearance. In training
the youth he should consider that he is dealing with those who have
inclinations to evil similar to his own. They have almost everything to learn,
and it is much more difficult for some to learn than for others. With the dull
pupil he should bear patiently, not censuring his ignorance, but improving
every opportunity to give him encouragement. With sensitive, nervous pupils he
should deal very tenderly. A sense of his own imperfections should lead him
constantly to manifest sympathy and forbearance toward those who also are
struggling with difficulties.
The Saviour's
rule--"As ye would that men should do to you, do ye also to them likewise"
(Luke 6:31)--should
293
be the rule of all
who undertake the training of children and youth. They are the younger members
of the Lord's family, heirs with us of the grace of life. Christ's rule should
be sacredly observed toward the dullest, the youngest, the most blundering, and
even toward the erring and rebellious.
This rule will lead
the teacher to avoid, so far as possible, making public the faults or errors of
a pupil. He will seek to avoid giving reproof or punishment in the presence of
others. He will not expel a student until every effort has been put forth for
his reformation. But when it becomes evident that the student is receiving no
benefit himself, while his defiance or disregard of authority tends to
overthrow the government of the school, and his influence is contaminating
others, then his expulsion becomes a necessity. Yet with many the disgrace of
public expulsion would lead to utter recklessness and ruin. In most cases when
removal is unavoidable, the matter need not be made public. By counsel and
co-operation with the parents, let the teacher privately arrange for the
student's withdrawal.
In this time of
special danger for the young, temptations surround them on every hand; and
while it is easy to drift, the strongest effort is required in order to press
against the current. Every school should be a "city of refuge" for the tempted
youth, a place where their follies shall be dealt with patiently and wisely.
Teachers who understand their responsibilities will separate from their own
hearts and lives everything that would prevent them from dealing successfully
with the willful and disobedient. Love and tenderness, patience and
self-control, will at all times be the law of their speech. Mercy and
compassion
294
will be blended
with justice. When it is necessary to give reproof, their language will not be
exaggerated, but humble. In gentleness they will set before the wrongdoer his
errors and help him to recover himself. Every true teacher will feel that
should he err at all, it is better to err on the side of mercy than on the side
of severity.
Many youth who are
thought incorrigible are not at heart so hard as they appear. Many who are
regarded as hopeless may be reclaimed by wise discipline. These are often the
ones who most readily melt under kindness. Let the teacher gain the confidence
of the tempted one, and by recognizing and developing the good in his
character, he can, in many cases, correct the evil without calling attention to
it.
The divine Teacher
bears with the erring through all their perversity. His love does not grow
cold; His efforts to win them do not cease. With outstretched arms He waits to
welcome again and again the erring, the rebellious, and even the apostate. His
heart is touched with the helplessness of the little child subject to rough
usage. The cry of human suffering never reaches His ear in vain. Though all are
precious in His sight, the rough, sullen, stubborn dispositions draw most
heavily upon His sympathy and love; for He traces from cause to effect. The one
who is most easily tempted, and is most inclined to err, is the special object
of His solicitude.
Every parent and
every teacher should cherish the attributes of Him who makes the cause of the
afflicted, the suffering, and the tempted His own. He should be one who can
have "compassion on the ignorant, and on them that are out of the way; for that
he himself also is compassed with infirmity." Hebrews 5:2. Jesus treats us
295
far better than we
deserve; and as He has treated us, so we are to treat others. The course of no
parent or teacher is justifiable if it is unlike that which under similar
circumstances the Saviour would pursue.