In my second vision, about a week after the first, the Lord gave me a view of the trials through which I must pass, and told me that I must go and relate to others what He had revealed to me. It was shown me that my labors would meet with great opposition, and that my heart would be rent with anguish; but the angel assured me, "The grace of God is sufficient for you; He will hold you up."
After I came out of this vision I was exceedingly troubled, for it pointed out my duty to go out among the people and present the truth. My health was so poor that I was in constant bodily suffering, and to all appearance had but a short time to live. I was only seventeen years of age, small and frail, unused to society and naturally so timid and retiring that it was painful for me to meet strangers. Having little self-confidence, I was unreconciled to going out into the world, and dreaded to meet its sneers and opposition.
For several days, and far into the night, I prayed that this burden might be removed from me, and laid upon some one more capable of bearing it. But the light of duty did not change, and the words of the angel sounded continually in my ears, "Make known to others what I have revealed to you."
Hitherto when the Spirit of God had urged me to duty, I had risen above myself, forgetting all fear and timidity in the great theme of Jesus love and the wonderful work He had done for me. The constant assurance that I was fulfilling my duty and obeying the will of God, gave me a confidence that surprised me, for it was foreign to my nature. At such times I felt willing to do or suffer anything in order to help others into the light and peace of Jesus.
But it seemed impossible for me to accomplish this work that was presented before me; even to attempt it seemed certain failure. The trials attending it appeared more than I could endure. How could a child in years, go forth from place to place, unfolding to the people the holy truths of God! My heart shrank in terror from the thought.
My brother Robert, but two years older than myself, could not accompany me, for he was feeble in health, and his timidity was greater than mine; nothing could have induced him to take such a step. My father had a family to support, and could not leave his business; but he repeatedly assured me that if God had called me to labor in other places, He would not fail to open the way for me. But these words of encouragement brought little comfort to my desponding heart; the path before me seemed hedged in with difficulties that I was unable to surmount.
I coveted death as a release from the responsibilities that were crowding upon me. At length the sweet peace I had so long enjoyed left me, and despair again pressed upon my soul. My prayers all seemed vain, and my faith was gone. Words of comfort, reproof, or encouragement were alike to me; for it seemed that no one could understand me but God, and I feared that He had taken His favor from me forever. As I thought of the light that had formerly blessed my soul, it seemed doubly precious in contrast with the darkness that now enveloped me.
The believers in Portland were ignorant concerning the exercises of my mind that had brought me into this state of despondency; but they knew that for some reason my mind had become depressed, and they felt that this was sinful on my part, considering the gracious manner in which the Lord had manifested Himself to me. Meetings were held at my father's house but my distress of mind was so great that I did not attend them for some time. My burden grew heavier until the agony of my spirit seemed more than I could bear.
At length I was induced to be present at one of the meetings in my own home. The church made my case a special subject of prayer. Father Pearson, who in my earlier experience had opposed the manifestations of the power of God upon me, now prayed earnestly for me, and counseled me to surrender my will to the will of the Lord. Like a tender father he tried to encourage and comfort me, bidding me believe I was not forsaken by the Friend of sinners. I felt too weak and despondent to make any special effort for myself, but my heart united with the petitions of my friends. I cared little now for the opposition of the world, and felt willing to make every sacrifice if only the favor of God might be restored to me.
Father Pearson's Testimony
While prayer was offered for me, that the Lord would give me strength and courage to bear the message, the thick darkness that had encompassed me rolled back, and a sudden light came upon me. Something that seemed to me like a ball of fire struck me right over the heart. My strength was taken away, and I fell to the floor. I seemed to be in the presence of the angels. One of these holy beings again repeated the words, "Make known to others what I have revealed to you."
Father Pearson, who could not kneel on account of his rheumatism, witnessed this occurrence. When I revived sufficiently to see and hear; he rose from his chair, and said, "I have seen a sight such as I never expected to see. A ball of fire came down from heaven, and struck Sister Ellen Harmon right on the heart. I saw it! I saw it! I can never forget it. It has changed my whole being. Sister Ellen, have courage in the Lord. After this night I will never doubt again. We will help you henceforth, and not discourage you."
Fear of Self-exaltation
One great fear that had oppressed me was that if I obeyed the call of duty, and went out declaring myself to be one favored of the Most High with visions and revelations for the people, I might yield to sinful exaltation, and be lifted above the station that was right for me to occupy, bring upon myself the displeasure of God, and lose my own soul. I had known of several such cases, and my heart shrunk from the trying ordeal.
I now entreated that if I must go and relate what the Lord had shown me, I might be preserved from undue exaltation. Said the angel, "Your prayers are heard, and shall be answered. If this evil that you dread threatens you, the hand of God will be stretched out to save you; by affliction He will draw you to Himself, and preserve your humility. Deliver the message faithfully; endure unto the end, and you shall eat the fruit of the tree of life and drink the water of life."
Travels in Maine
After recovering consciousness of earthly things, I committed myself to the Lord, ready to do His bidding, whatever that might be.
It was not long before the Lord opened the way for me to go with my brother-in-law to my sisters in Poland, thirty miles from my home, and while there I had an opportunity to bear my testimony. For three months my throat and lungs had been so diseased that I could talk but little, and that in a low, husky tone. On this occasion I stood up in meeting and began speaking in a whisper. I continued thus for about five minutes, when the soreness and obstruction left my lungs, my voice became clear and strong, and I spoke with perfect ease and freedom for nearly two hours. When my message was ended, my voice was gone until I stood again before the people, when the same singular restoration was repeated. I felt a constant assurance that I was doing the will of God, and saw marked results attending my efforts.
Providentially the way was opened for me to go to the central part of Maine. Brother Wm. Jordan was going on business to Orrington, accompanied by his sister, and I was urged to go with them. As I had promised the Lord to walk in the path He opened before me, I dared not refuse. The Spirit of God attended the message I bore at this place; hearts were made glad in the truth, and the desponding ones were cheered and encouraged to renew their faith. At Orrington I met Elder James White. He was acquainted with my friends, and was himself engaged in the work for the salvation of souls.
I also visited Garland, where a large number collected from different quarters to hear my message.
Soon after this I went to Exeter, a small village not far from Garland. Here a heavy burden rested upon me, from which I could not be free until I had related what had been shown me in regard to some fanatical persons who were present. This I did, mentioning that I was soon to return home, and had seen that these persons were anxious to visit Portland, but that they had no work to do there, and could only injure the cause by their fanaticism. I declared that they were deceived in thinking that they were actuated by the Spirit of God.
My testimony was very displeasing to these persons and their sympathizers. It cut directly across their anticipated course, and in consequence aroused in them feelings of bitterness and jealousy toward me.
Arrest of Elder Damman
From Exeter I went to Atkinson. One night I was shown something that I did not understand. It was to this effect that we were to have a trial of our faith. The next day, Sunday, as I was speaking, two men looked in the window of the room where we were assembled. We were satisfied as to their object: They were coming to arrest us.
They entered, and rushed past me to Elder Israel Damman. The Spirit of the Lord rested upon him, his strength was taken away, and he fell helpless to the floor. The officer cried out, "In the name of the State of Maine, lay hold of this man." Two men seized his arms and two his feet, and attempted to drag him from the room. The power of God was present. The true servants of God, their countenances lighted up with His glory, made no resistance, but began to sing, "We left old mystic Babylon, To sound the jubilee," and the men who had taken hold of Elder Damman were unable to carry out their design. They would move him a few inches, and then their hands would slip off, and they would rush out of the room. These men could not endure the power of God present in that room, and it was a relief to them to get out.
Their number increased to twelve, but for about forty minutes Elder Damman was held by the power of God, and the combined strength of all those men could not move him from the floor.
Then we all felt at the same moment that Elder Damman must go. God had manifested His power for His glory, but He would be further glorified in suffering him to be taken from us. I said, "Elder Damman, the Lord bids you go with these men to this trial." At this the men took him up as easily as they would a helpless child, and carried him from the room.
Elder Damman was taken to a hotel, where he was guarded. The man who was given charge of him did not like the duty. He said that Elder Damman was singing and praying and praising the Lord all night, so that he could not sleep, and he would not watch over such a man. No one else wished the duty of guarding Elder Damman, so after promising that he would appear for trial, he was released, and allowed to go about the village as he pleased. He was invited by friends to share their hospitality.
At the hour appointed for the trial, Elder Damman was present. A lawyer offered his services. The charge brought against Elder Damman was that he was a disturber of the peace. Many witnesses were brought forward to sustain this charge, but their testimony was at once broken down by the testimony of Elder Damman's acquaintances present, who were called to the stand.
Among those present there was much curiosity to know what Elder Damman and his friends believed, and he was asked to give them a statement of his belief. In a clear manner, for he was a forcible speaker, he told them from the Scriptures the reasons of his faith.
It was also stated that the Adventists sang curious hymns, and he was asked to sing one. A number of brethren were present, who had excellent voices, and they joined with him in singing,
"When I was down in Egypt's land, I heard my Savior was at hand," etc.
Elder Damman was asked if he had a spiritual wife. He told them that he had a lawful wife, and he could thank God that she had been a very spiritual woman since his acquaintance with her.
Finally he was ordered to pay the costs of the trail and was then released.
After this I returned to Portland; having traveled and labored for three months, bearing the testimony that God had given me, and experiencing His approbation at every step.