About this time I was subjected to a severe trial. If the Spirit of God rested upon anyone in meeting, and he glorified God by praising Him, some raised the cry of mesmerism; and if it pleased the Lord to give me a vision in meeting, some would say that it was the effect of excitement and mesmerism. Grieved and desponding, I often went alone to some retired place to pour out my soul before Him who invites the weary and heavy laden to come and find rest. As my faith claimed the promises, Jesus would seem very near. The sweet light of heaven would shine around me, and I would seem to be encircled by the arms of my Saviour, and would there be taken off in vision. But when I would relate what God had revealed to me alone, where no earthly influence could affect me, I was grieved and astonished to hear some intimate that those who lived nearest to God were most liable to be deceived by Satan.
According to this teaching, our only safety from delusion would be to remain at a distance from God, in a backslidden state. Oh, thought I, has it come to this, that those who honestly go to God alone to plead His promises, and to claim His salvation, are to be charged with being under the foul influence of mesmerism? Do we ask our kind Father in heaven for bread, only to receive a stone or scorpion? These things wounded my spirit, and wrung my soul with keen anguish, well nigh to despair.
Some Erroneous Theories
Some would have had me believe that there was no Holy Spirit, and that all the exercises that holy men of God experienced were only the effect of mesmerism or the deception of Satan. Some had taken extreme views of certain texts of Scripture, refraining wholly from labor, and rejecting all those who would not receive their ideas on this and other points pertaining to religious duty.
God revealed these errors to me in vision, and sent me to instruct His erring children; but many of them wholly rejected the message, and charged me with conforming to the world. On the other hand, the nominal Adventists charged me with fanaticism, and I was falsely represented as the leader of the fanaticism, which I was laboring constantly to arrest.
Different times were set for the Lord to come, and were urged upon the brethren. But the Lord showed me that they would pass by, for the time of trouble must come before the advent of Christ, and that every time a date was set, and passed, it would weaken the faith of God's people. For this I was charged with being the evil servant that said, "My Lord delayeth His coming."
All these things weighed heavily upon my spirits, and in my confusion I was sometimes tempted to doubt my own experience.
While at family prayers one morning, the power of God began to rest upon me, and the thought rushed into my mind that it was mesmerism, and I resisted it. Immediately I was struck dumb, and for a few moments was lost to everything around me.
I then saw my sin in doubting the power of God, and that for so doing I had been struck dumb, but that my tongue should be loosed in less than twenty-four hours. A card was held up before me, on which were written in letters of gold the chapter and verse of fifty texts of scripture.
After I came out of vision, I beckoned for the slate, and wrote upon it that I was dumb, also what I had seen, and that I wished the large Bible. I took the Bible, and readily turned to all the texts that I had seen upon the card, which were as follows:
Luke 1:20 2 Corinthians 4:6-9, 17, 18
John 16:15 1 Peter 1:5-7
Acts 2:4, 429-31 1 Thessalonians 3:8
Matthew 7:6-12, 15; 24:24 Mark 15:17, 18
Colossians 2:6-8 John 9:20-27; 14:13-15; 15:7, 8
Hebrews 10:35-39; 4:10-12 Mark 1:23-25
Philippians 1:6, 27-29; 2:13-15 Romans 8:38, 39
Ephesians 6:10-18; 4:32 Revelation 3:7-13; 14:4, 5
1 Peter 1:22 Philippians 3:20
John 13:34, 35 James 5:7, 8
2 Corinthians 13:5 Philippians 3:21
1 Corinthians 3:10-13 Revelation 14:14-17
Acts 20:28-30 Hebrews 4:9
Galatians 1:6-9 Revelation 21:2; 14:1; 22:1-5
Luke 12:3-7; 10, 11
I was unable to speak all day. Early the next morning my soul was filled with joy, and my tongue was loosened to shout the high praises of God. After that I dared not doubt, or for a moment resist the power of God, whatever others might think of me.
Up to the time of my first vision, as before stated, I could not write; my trembling hand was unable to hold my pen steadily. While in vision, I was commanded by an angel to write the vision. I obeyed and wrote readily. My nerves were strengthened, and my hand became steady.
It was a great cross for me to relate to the erring what had been shown me concerning them. It caused me great distress to see others troubled and grieved. And when obliged to declare the messages, I would often soften them down, and make them appear as favorable for the individual as I could, and then would go by myself and weep in agony of spirit. I looked upon those who seemed to have only their own souls to care for, and thought if I were in their condition I would not murmur. It was hard to relate the plain, cutting testimonies given me of God. I anxiously watched the result, and if the persons reproved rose up against the reproof, and afterward opposed the truth, these queries arose in my mind: Did I deliver the message just as I should? Could there not have been some way to save them? And then such distress pressed upon my soul that I often felt that death would be a welcome messenger, and the grave a sweet resting place.
The Sin of Unfaithfulness
I did not realize that I was unfaithful in thus questioning and doubting, and did not see the danger and sin of such a course, until in vision I was taken into the presence of Jesus. He looked upon me with a frown, and turned His face from me. It is not possible to describe the terror and agony I felt. I fell upon my face before him, but had no power to utter a word. Oh, how I longed to be covered and hid from that dreadful frown! Then could I realize, in some degree, what the feelings of the lost will be when they cry, "Mountains and rocks, fall on us, and hide us from the face of Him that sitteth on the throne, and from the wrath of the lamb."
Presently an angel bade me rise, and the sight that met my eyes can hardly be described. Before me was a small company whose hair and garments were torn, and whose countenances were the very picture of despair and horror. They came close to me, and rubbed their garments upon mine. As I looked at my garments, I saw that they were stained with blood. Again I fell like one dead, at the feet of my accompanying angel. I could not plead one excuse, and longed to be away from that holy place.
The angel raised me to my feet, and said, "This is not your case now, but this scene has passed before you to let you know what the situation must be if you neglect to declare to others what the Lord has revealed to you. But if you are faithful to the end, you shall eat of the tree of life, and drink of the river of the water of life. You will have to suffer much, but the grace of God is sufficient."
I then felt willing to do all that the Lord might require of me to do, that I might have His approbation, and not feel His dreadful frown.
In later years additional instruction was given me regarding faithfulness in presenting to the people the messages that have been given to me for them.
During the night of December 5, 1868, I had a most impressive dream. A person brought to me a web of white cloth, and bade me to cut it into garments for persons of all sizes, of all descriptions of character, and in all circumstances in life. I was told to cut them out, and hang them up all ready to be made when called for. I had the impression that many for whom I was required to cut out garments were unworthy.
I inquired if that was the last piece of cloth I should have to cut, and was told that it was not; that as soon as I had finished this one, there were others for me to take hold of. I felt discouraged at the amount of work before me, and stated that I had been engaged in cutting garments for others for more than twenty-years, and my labors had not been appreciated, neither did I see that my work had accomplished much good.
I spoke to the person who brought the cloth to me, of one woman in particular, for whom he had told me to cut out a garment. I stated that she would not prize the garment, and that it would be a loss of time and material to present it to her. She was very poor, of inferior intellect, and untidy in her habits, and would soon soil it.
The person replied, "Cut out the garments. This is your duty. The loss is not yours, but Mine. God sees not as a man sees. He lays out the work that He would have done, and you do not know which will prosper, this or that. It will be found that many such poor souls will go into the kingdom, while others, who are favored with all the blessings of life, having good intellects and pleasant surroundings, giving them all the advantages of improvement, will be left out. It will be seen that these poor souls have lived up to the feeble light they had, and having improved by the limited means within their reach, lived much more acceptably than others who have enjoyed full light, and ample means for improvement."
I then held up my hands, calloused as they were with long use of shears, and stated that I could but shrink at the thought of pursuing this kind of labor longer. The person then repeated, "Cut out the garments. Your release has not yet come."
With feelings of great weariness, I arose to engage in the work. Before me lay new, polished shears, which I commenced using. At once my feelings of weariness and discouragement left me, the shears seemed to cut with hardly an effort on my part, and I cut out garment after garment with comparative ease.
Another Conflict with Mesmerism
While visiting my sister in Poland, I was afflicted with sickness. Those present united in prayer in my behalf, and the disease was rebuked. Angels seemed to be in the room, and all was light and glory. I was again taken off in vision, and shown that I must go about three miles to a meeting, and when there should learn what the Lord would have me do.
We went to the meeting, and found a large number of brethren and sisters assembled. We were surprised to find Joe Turner there. He had boasted that he understood the art of mesmerism, and said that he could mesmerize Ellen Harmon, and could prevent her from having a vision or relating one in his presence. There were many present who had heard his boastful assertions.
During the meeting I arose to speak. Then my visions came up fresh before me, and I began relating them. Soon I felt a human influence being exerted against me. I looked at Mr. Turner, and saw that he had his hand up to his face, and was looking through his fingers. His eyes were intently fixed upon me, his lips were compressed, and a low grown now and then escaped him. In a moment I remembered the promise which the Lord had given me,--that if I were in danger of being affected by an earthly influence, and would ask for another angel, one would be sent to protect me.
Turning to this man, I related what the Lord had shown me in Portland; raising my hands to heaven, earnestly cried, "Another angel, Father, another angel!" I knew that my request was granted. I felt shielded by the strong Spirit of the Lord. I was borne above every earthly influence, and with freedom finished my testimony. The believers were comforted, and rejoiced in the Lord.
Some of my friends asked Mr. Turner why he had not stopped me from relating the vision, as he said he would. He answered, "Oh, some of you would have her talk."
After the meeting we returned to my sister's with strong confidence, rejoicing in God.
Fruits of the No-work Doctrine
There were some in Paris, ME, who believed that it was sin to work. Elder Jesse Stevens was the leader in this error, and exerted strong influence over others. For years he had been a Methodist preacher, and was considered a humble, faithful Christian. By his zeal for the advent message and apparently holy living, he had won the confidence of many, and some believed him to be especially directed by God.
The Lord gave me a reproof for this man, declaring that he was going contrary to the word of God in abstaining from labor, in urging his errors upon others, and in denouncing all who did not receive them. He rejected every evidence which the Lord gave to convince him of his error, and was determined to make no change in his course. He took weary journeys, walking great distances to places where he would receive only abuse, and thought that in so doing he was suffering for Christ's sake. Impressions were followed and reason and judgment were laid aside.
Not only did the Lord give me a faithful message for this man, but also I was sent long distances to warn the people of God against the errors he was urging upon them. At one time I was shown that I must go to Paris, ME, for a meeting was appointed there which I must attend. I followed the direction given me, and upon arriving learned that Elder Stevens had notified the brethren that there was to be a great meeting the next day at the house of Brother C. in which an important matter was to be brought out. He urged all to attend.
The next morning we went to the place appointed for the meeting. When Elder Stevens came in and saw us present, he seemed troubled. The meeting opened with prayer. Then as I tried to pray, the blessing of the Lord rested upon me, and I was taken off in vision.
Elder Stevens had declared that he would listen to nothing but the Bible. I was shown the teachings of the Bible in contrast with his errors. I then saw that the frown of God was upon him because he was leading honest, conscientious souls astray. They saw inconsistencies in his faith, and their judgment told them he was wrong, yet they feared to differ with him.
His object in appointing that meeting had been to make an effort to strengthen the cords of error with which he had bound these souls.
I saw that God would work for the salvation of His people; that Elder Stevens would soon manifest himself, so that all the honest in heart would see that he was not actuated by a right spirit, and that his career would soon close. Soon afterward the snare was broken, and he had but little more influence over the brethren. He denounced the visions of being of the devil, and continued to follow his impressions, until his mind was deranged and his friends were obliged to confine him. At last he made a rope of some of his bed clothing, with which he hanged himself, and his followers were brought to realize their condition.
God ordained that the beings He created should work. Upon this their happiness depends. Healthy young men and women have no need of cricket, ball playing, or any kind of amusement just for the gratification of self, to pass away the time. There are useful things to be done by every one of God's created intelligences. Someone needs from you something that will help him. No one in the Lord's great domain of creation was to be made a drone. Our happiness increases and our powers develop as we engage in useful employment.
Action gives power. Entire harmony pervades the universe of God. All heavenly beings are in constant activity, and the Lord Jesus, in His life work, has given an example for everyone. He went about "doing good." God established the law of obedient action. Silent but ceaseless, the objects of His creation do their appointed work. The ocean is in constant motion. The springing grass, which today is, and tomorrow is cast into the oven, does its errand, clothing the fields with beauty. The leaves are stirred to motion, and yet no hand is seen to touch them. The sun, moon, and stars are useful and glorious in fulfilling their mission.
At all times the machinery of the body continues its work. Day by day the heart throbs, doing its regular, appointed task, unceasingly forcing its crimson current to all parts of the body. Action, action, is seen pervading the whole living machinery. And man, his mind and body created in God's own similitude, must be active in order to fill his appointed place. He is not to be idle. Idleness is sin.
An Evidence of God's Care
After returning to Portland, I was shown that I must go to Portsmouth the next day and bear my testimony there.
At that time my sister Sarah traveled with me, and Elder White was to accompany us. We had no means with which to pay our fare, but prepared to go, trusting the Lord to open the way.
Our house was not far from the station, and the first car bell was ringing as I put on my bonnet. Then I looked out of the window, and saw a good brother driving rapidly up to our gate, his horse reeking with sweat.
He quickly entered the house, and asked, "Is there anyone here who needs means? I was impressed that someone here needed money."
We hastily related that we were going to Portsmouth at the Lord's bidding, and had no means with which to go, but were resolved to start, trusting in the providence of God to open the way.
The brother handed us money enough to carry us to Portsmouth and back, and said, "Take a seat in my wagon, and I will carry you to the depot."
He told us that while on the way to my father's, his horse had seemed determined to come with great speed the whole distance of twelve miles. We had barely time to take our seats in the cars when the train started.
Thus the Lord tested and proved us, and strengthened our faith as we were brought into a very strait place, and were carried through by the manifestation of His providence.
I had freedom in bearing my testimony in Portsmouth.