The home should be to the children the most attractive
place in the world, and the mother's presence should be
its greatest attraction. Children have sensitive, loving natures.
They are easily pleased and easily made unhappy. By gentle
discipline, in loving words and acts, mothers may bind their
children to their hearts.
Young children love companionship and can seldom enjoy
themselves alone. They yearn for sympathy and tenderness.
That which they enjoy they think will please mother also, and
it is natural for them to go to her with their little joys and
sorrows. The mother should not wound their sensitive hearts
by treating with indifference matters that, though trifling to
her, are of great importance to them. Her sympathy and
approval are precious. An approving glance, a word of
encouragement or commendation, will be like sunshine in
their hearts, often making the whole day happy.
Instead of sending her children from her, that she may not
be annoyed by their noise or troubled by their little wants, let
the mother plan amusement or light work to employ the
active hands and minds.
By entering into their feelings and directing their amusements
and employments, the mother will gain the confidence
of her children, and she can the more effectually correct wrong
habits, or check the manifestations of selfishness or passion.
A word of caution or reproof spoken at the right time will be
of great value. By patient, watchful love, she can turn the
minds of the children in the right direction, cultivating in
them beautiful and attractive traits of character.
Mothers should guard against training their children to
be dependent and self-absorbed. Never lead them to think
that they are the center, and that everything must revolve
around them. Some parents give much time and attention to
amusing their children, but children should be trained to
amuse themselves, to exercise their own ingenuity and skill.
Thus they will learn to be content with very simple pleasures.
They should be taught to bear bravely their little disappointments
and trials. Instead of calling attention to every trifling
pain or hurt, divert their minds, teach them to pass lightly
over little annoyances or discomforts. Study to suggest ways
by which the children may learn to be thoughtful for others.
But let not the children be neglected. Burdened with many
cares, mothers sometimes feel that they cannot take time
patiently to instruct their little ones and give them love and
sympathy. But they should remember that if the children do
not find in their parents and in their home that which will
satisfy their desire for sympathy and companionship, they
will look to other sources, where both mind and character
may be endangered.
For lack of time and thought, many a mother refuses her
children some innocent pleasure, while busy fingers and
weary eyes are diligently engaged on work designed only for
adornment, something that, at best, will serve only to encourage
vanity and extravagance in their young hearts. As the
children approach manhood and womanhood, these lessons
bear fruit in pride and moral worthlessness. The mother
grieves over her children's faults, but does not realize that the
harvest she is reaping is from seed which she herself planted.
Some mothers are not uniform in the treatment of their
children. At times they indulge them to their injury, and
again they refuse some innocent gratification that would
make the childish heart very happy. In this they do not imitate
Christ; He loved the children; He comprehended their
feelings and sympathized with them in their pleasures and
their trials.
The Father's Responsibility
The husband and father is the head of the household. The
wife looks to him for love and sympathy, and for aid in the
training of the children; and this is right. The children are
his as well as hers, and he is equally interested in their welfare.
The children look to their father for support and guidance;
he needs to have a right conception of life and of the
influences and associations that should surround his family;
above all, he should be controlled by the love and fear of God
and by the teaching of His word, that he may guide the feet
of his children in the right way.
The father is the lawmaker of the household; and, like
Abraham, he should make the law of God the rule of his
home. God said of Abraham, "I know him, that he will command
his children and his household." Genesis 18:19. There
would be no sinful neglect to restrain evil, no weak, unwise,
indulgent favoritism; no yielding of his conviction of duty to
the claims of mistaken affection. Abraham would not only
give right instruction, but he would maintain the authority of
just and righteous laws. God has given rules for our guidance.
Children should not be left to wander away from the safe
path marked out in God's word, into ways leading to
danger, which are open on every side. Kindly, but firmly, with
persevering, prayerful effort, their wrong desires should be
restrained, their inclinations denied.
The father should enforce in his family the sterner virtues--energy,
integrity, honesty, patience, courage, diligence, and
practical usefulness. And what he requires of his children he
himself should practice, illustrating these virtues in his own
manly bearing.
But, fathers, do not discourage your children. Combine
affection with authority, kindness and sympathy with firm
restraint. Give some of your leisure hours to your children;
become acquainted with them; associate with them in their
work and in their sports, and win their confidence. Cultivate
friendship with them, especially with your sons. In this way
you will be a strong influence for good.
The father should do his part toward making home happy.
Whatever his cares and business perplexities, they should not
be permitted to overshadow his family; he should enter his
home with smiles and pleasant words.
In a sense the father is the priest of the household, laying
upon the family altar the morning and evening sacrifice. But
the wife and children should unite in prayer and join in the
song of praise. In the morning before he leaves home for his
daily labor, let the father gather his children about him and,
bowing before God, commit them to the care of the Father
in heaven. When the cares of the day are past, let the family
unite in offering grateful prayer and raising the song of
praise, in acknowledgment of divine care during the day.
Fathers and mothers, however pressing your business, do
not fail to gather your family around God's altar. Ask for
the guardianship of holy angels in your home. Remember
that your dear ones are exposed to temptations. Daily
annoyances beset the path of young and old. Those who would
live patient, loving, cheerful lives must pray. Only by receiving
constant help from God can we gain the victory over self.
Home should be a place where cheerfulness, courtesy, and
love abide; and where these graces dwell, there will abide
happiness and peace. Troubles may invade, but these are the
lot of humanity. Let patience, gratitude, and love keep
sunshine in the heart, though the day may be ever so cloudy. In
such homes angels of God abide.
Let the husband and wife study each other's happiness,
never failing in the small courtesies and little kindly acts that
cheer and brighten the life. Perfect confidence should exist
between husband and wife. Together they should consider
their responsibilities. Together they should work for the
highest good of their children. Never should they in the
presence of the children criticize each other's plans or question
each other's judgment. Let the wife be careful not to
make the husband's work for the children more difficult. Let
the husband hold up the hands of his wife, giving her wise
counsel and loving encouragement.
No barrier of coldness and reserve should be allowed to
arise between parents and children. Let parents become
acquainted with their children, seeking to understand their
tastes and dispositions, entering into their feelings, and
drawing out what is in their hearts.
Parents, let your children see that you love them and will
do all in your power to make them happy. If you do so, your
necessary restrictions will have far greater weight in their
young minds. Rule your children with tenderness and
compassion, remembering that "their angels do always behold
the face of My Father which is in heaven." Matthew 18:10.
If you desire the angels to do for your children the work given
them of God, co-operate with them by doing your part.
Brought up under the wise and loving guidance of a true
home, children will have no desire to wander away in search
of pleasure and companionship. Evil will not attract them.
The spirit that prevails in the home will mold their characters;
they will form habits and principles that will be a strong
defense against temptation when they shall leave the home
shelter and take their place in the world.
Children as well as parents have important duties in the
home. They should be taught that they are a part of the home
firm. They are fed and clothed and loved and cared for, and
they should respond to these many mercies by bearing their
share of the home burdens and bringing all the happiness
possible into the family of which they are members.
Children are sometimes tempted to chafe under restraint;
but in afterlife they will bless their parents for the faithful
care and strict watchfulness that guarded and guided them in
their years of inexperience.